So Not Perfect

I'm sure this never happens to anyone but me *cough-cough* but every once in a while, especially after an unusually difficult period of time, I have a complete breakdown. I over-evaluate, over-expect, and over-schedule myself to the point that I fail. Miserably fail.

Or do I?

I was at the point yesterday where I felt like that. We had just been through 6 weeks of weird and difficult. Two grandpas' funerals, kids behind in school, laundry and housework piled up as high as Mt. Everest, me expecting myself to be Supermom and not measuring up. Good grief! You would think I would have learned by now. I am not, and never will be Supermom. After an especially difficult Sunday (I really love my cute little primary class, but wow, they were extra hard this time) and realizing that I did nothing for one of the ladies I "visit teach" whose dad just passed away, I totally freaked out. I was crying as my poor husband was trying to pack for a trip he had to take for work, and our kids were knocking at our bedroom door.

Then my awesome hubby reminded me that I'm actually doing fine. He reminded me that it's okay for the house to not be perfect, because look at what we ARE doing. We have four amazing kids that continue to make us proud, and actually kinda listen sometimes, even when we don't think they do. Case in point: I overheard Bryson telling his friend that it IS okay for Hayden to play with them, because family is more important than friends. Another case in point: Our sweet 13-yr-old left the room when some friends started watching a movie that she felt uncomfortable about, and even when they started teasing her a little bit, she still stood her ground... then asked Jared for a blessing later on, because the scene she DID end up seeing before leaving the room was extremely disturbing to her.

I guess we've done okay raising these kids so far. They certainly don't expect perfection from us, they only expect us to love and accept them! And we do. We love them more than I could ever explain. We are far from perfect, but that's okay. There are more important things than having a perfect house, and being perfectly organized... like being perfectly happy. And I am.

Here is one of those awesome kiddos of mine, shoveling the snow in his jammies. I know... jammies. Whatever! He's happy. And that makes me happy!

The "Homesick Sailor" Goes Home

When my Grandpa was in the Navy, he wrote a little poem. He titled it "The Homesick Sailor." It was about him. The war had just ended, and the navy had sent them to China for a little bit, but all he wanted to do was go home to his cute little wife, who was waiting for him in Utah. When I read the poem on the back of Grandpa's funeral program, I thought it was so fitting. That sweet, "homesick sailor" had really, finally gone home, where his sweet wife has been waiting for him for a very long time. It makes it all bittersweet, really. While we will miss him here on earth, we know he is with Grandma now, and I can just imagine how happy they are to be together again!

The funeral held yesterday was perfect. During the viewing, the night before the funeral, I realized that the feeling I had as a child about how Grandpa knew everyone was really true. People waited for hours just to get in and pay their respect. Hours! He was truly loved by many, especially those of us that knew him well. It was so amazing to see the sheer number of people whose lives he had touched in some way. As they waited to get in, they were able to see an awesome display that my mom and my aunts had put together. There were pictures, things he made, Navy memorabilia. It was really beautiful.

I loved when some of the older people that came to the viewing would stop and ask me how I was related to Josh, and then they would tell me how they knew him, and how much he meant to them. It only increased the respect I have for my grandpa.

My dad and his siblings spoke at the services. I loved the stories that were told. There was such a great mixture of laughter and tears as they recalled some of the funny stories, as well as some of the more serious ones. My grandpa was such a faithful man. His obedience provided many blessings for his family, and set a wonderful example for all of us. I had the assignment to lead the music during the funeral. This is not something I would consider a strength of mine. I would have much rather been sitting behind the piano, but I did it for Grandpa. Three of my cousins, who are brothers, sang a beautiful rendition of "Nearer My God to Thee." The oldest of the three whistled one of the verses... such a fitting tribute to a man who always seemed to be whistling. They did an amazing job, and I just know Grandpa was smiling.

At the cemetary, my cousin Brandon, who himself is a veteran, helped provide the beautiful military services.

My other cousins had the privelege of serving as the pallbearers. I loved watching them all work together to move Grandpa's beautiful casket from the hearse to the burial plot.

It was so neat to see the older vets standing in line with their rifles and bugle, showing their respect to a fellow military man.

I love military services... Taps played on the bugle, the 21 gun salute, and then the folding of the flag. My grandpa is the one that taught me the proper way to fold a flag, so it means even more when I watch it being done. It was just so reverent and respectful.

My cousin had the beautiful and difficult task of presenting the flag to my Dad. I know this meant a lot to my dad, and my eyes were filled with tears as I watched.

Grandpa's casket was a beautiful Navy blue, with WWII on the top and sides. Inside there was a gorgeous embroidered flag. It was pretty to see it when it was draped with the flag, but even more so once the flag had been folded, and the deep, shiny blue was able to be seen.

I'm so proud of my heritage, not only as Josh Grace's grand-daughter, but also as Bob Grace's daughter. I know my dad had difficult decisions to make while Grandpa was in the hospital, but I know he did everything he could out of respect for his dad. I know how much he loved him.

Grandpa and Grandma are buried on a small hill with a beautiful view of the mountains they loved.

I will forever be grateful to have known such an amazing man, and for the great influence he has had on my life.

My Grandpa, My Hero

JOSHUA GRACE
June 3, 1926 - February 16, 2011

That whistling. I could hear it from several blocks away, and I knew that Grandpa was coming. I loved when he would stop by the house, even if it was only for a few minutes. He wasn't one to sit still for long, unless he was watching Wheel of Fortune or a sporting event. So it was often a quick drop-in to see how we were doing, then he was off on his merry way to finish his daily walk. Grandma could have stayed longer, but once Grandpa was out the door, she was often having to chase him down to catch up. Always my biggest hero, my Grandpa knew EVERYONE in town. Seriously. The minute I would tell someone my name, their first question was "Are you related to Josh Grace?" and I was always proud to say "Yep. He's my Grampa!" The thought of disappointing him or having him be ashamed of me in any way often kept me out of trouble, but the best thing about him, was that I don't think he could have EVER been ashamed of or disappointed in any of us. He loved us no matter what, and it was obvious. He taught us how to blow kisses, and often those kisses swirled through the air before landing "right in the eye!" Some of my fondest memories of my Grandpa were just everyday things.  I loved watching him doing wood working projects. He made shelves, rocking horses, and all kinds of other beautiful things, and the smell of sawdust takes me right back into his shed in the back yard. He always had the most beautiful yard, and I loved watching him care for his lovely flowers. I also loved when he would take us on motorcycle rides, or on some kind of fun hike, or even just a walk around the block. He taught us that the girl should always be on the inside, away from the road, and the boy should be closest to the road. That was the proper way for a boy to walk with a girl! He always had a smile on his face, and a spring in his step, and people just wanted and loved to be around him. His hugs were the best - nice and tight. I remember he always seemed larger than life, so it was difficult to watch him over the last several years as he seemed to become smaller and more weak. Never one to complain, he tried to make you think he was just fine, even when he didn't feel real well. He loved and helped more people in his lifetime than I'll ever even know in mine. His and my grandmother's examples of service have affected my life in many ways, and when they served a mission together in Texas, I knew that someday I wanted to serve a mission with my husband. I look forward to that day. My grandpa taught me many things during his wonderful, long life.

He taught me about LOVE: I loved seeing him walk hand in hand with his "Sweetheart," my grandma. He loved her so much, and just beamed whenever he talked about her. He was willing to do anything for anyone, especially those of us who were "his." I remember many times when I was babysitting, when someone would knock at our door. Being frightened, I would call Grandpa, and he would drive the 4 blocks to our house to make sure we were okay. He came to many of the games I cheered at, and to most of my piano recitals.

He taught me about FAITH: My Grandpa loved the Lord and His gospel. He served as a Bishop twice, and as a part of the Stake Presidency. He had an amazing testimony, and always talked about how we should live our lives. His prayers were always some of my favorites. I loved living in his ward as a young newlywed, and being able to sit with him and my Grandma in Sacrament Meeting. We only lived 3 houses away, and we went to their house often.

He taught me about SERVICE: I saw him help many people. I heard of him helping even more. He was always doing something nice for someone else, and we were no exception. He built a beautiful wooden ledge in our house when we bought it, to cover up an eyesore right next to the stairs. I didn't ask him to do it. It was totally his idea, and I will always treasure the beauty he added to my home. And a gorgeous shelf he made hangs in our living room still.

He taught me about FORGIVENESS: Grandpa never held a grudge toward anyone. He loved everyone no matter what they had done in their lives. He had a Christ-like love that has touched my life so much. Even when I wrote on their beautiful dining room wallpaper in permanent ink in my childhood, he let me know that he still loved me, even though I had done something wrong.

He taught me about COUNTRY: He loved this country, and I remember watching him stand proudly at each Steel Days parade as the flags were marched down the street. The flag proudly flying in his yard meant something to him. Not just a pretty flag, but the flag he was willing to fight for. My grandpa taught me how to fold that flag in the proper way. He was a World War II veteran, having served in the Navy as a young man. I have a picture of him in his naval uniform framed and sitting in my family room. A great reminder that  brave men and women are so willing to risk their lives for me. And even cooler that my Grandfathers were some of them.

He taught me many other things, big and small. But most of all, he taught me about true HAPPINESS. I rarely saw him unhappy. Probably the ONLY time I saw him sad, was when his sweetheart passed away. That was so hard for him, but he found happiness again. I now know why he was happy. He knew who he was. He knew why he was here. And he knew that he was on the right path home. All his life he made choices and lived his life in such a way that I'm sure the Lord has welcomed him home with his arms wide open, saying "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." And oh, how I would have loved to witness the reunion that was held when he saw his "Sweetheart" there waiting for him. I smile just thinking about it. When I went to see him in the hospital right before he passed away, I imagined myself as a child again. I wanted to climb up on his lap and feel his big arms squeezing me tight. I wanted to hear him whistling, and his voice saying "How ya doin'?" I wanted to be on the back of his motorcycle, with him reminding me to keep my leg from getting burned on the pipe. I wanted to be sitting in the swing in his backyard right next to him, swinging in the cool, evening air. I wanted him to be able to just stand up and walk out of that hospital room. I know how I'll remember him, though, as the grandpa from my childhood. Tall, and strong. Hair shiny and combed so slick and stylishly. A gleam in his eye, and whistling an old time dance tune.

I love you Grandpa Grace. I will miss you more than you can ever know. I only hope that I can live my life in a way that will make you proud, and that will allow me to hear you whistle again.

Dropping Eggs...

When Bryson brought home a note about the first annual class Egg Drop, he was so excited. Every day he would say "Remember, Mom. We've got to work on my Egg Drop!" The big event was supposed to be on Friday, and we didn't actually get to work on it until the night before. B was a little bit stressed, but I've done this three times before. Once when I was in 8th grade (we dropped our eggs out the second story window at the Jr. High... mine survived!), and once for each of my girls when they were in the "other" school. We've never had an egg break, and I KNEW this time B's egg would be just fine as well!

His class has been talking about gravity. It was so cute to hear them talking about it on the day of the "Drop." They had really learned a lot (I LOVE his teacher). They knew things that I had never even heard (or possibly just didn't retain...?) B was super excited. When we made his, he said it HAD to be an army guy, so he drew a cute face on it, and made his box camo with the words "U.S. Army" on it. I also did a bit of research online to find out how to make a better parachute than we had in the past. Ours never really worked... in fact the only reason our eggs survived in the past was due to the massive amounts of soft, fluffy packaging we had used. This time, not only did we have bubble wrap, but we had a sweet parachute that really worked!

And here he is... "Army Guy!" - and B-man, of course!

Don't you love his "official" army vehicle? B really worked hard on the camo effect.

B was in the first group to go upstairs and let their eggs go. He could hardly contain his excitement! That amazing lady right next to him is is awesome teacher. LOVE HER! And LOOK... the parachute really worked!!

Bryson enjoyed watching all the kids drop their eggs. There were some fun and interesting contraptions that people came up with.

Then it was time to head back into class for the BIG REVEAL! They each took turns opening their contraptions to see if their egg survived.

B pulled his out, unwrapped the bubble wrap (as if there was any doubt as to the state of his Egg Guy) and found him safe and sound. Not a scratch, dent or crack in him. HE SURVIVED! HOORAY!

I couldn't stay to see all the eggs, but I really think they had a great time with this fun activity. I enjoyed watching it... especially the cute kids and how excited they were. So fun!

An Obsession of TITANIC Proportions!

I love that my kids enjoy reading. I think it's great. However, once in a while a book comes along that becomes kind of an obsession to somebody. I'm not talking about Twilight, Harry Potter or the Hunger Games... I'm talking about a little book called Exploring the Titanic by Robert D. Ballard. Kaitlyn checked this book out at the library to use as her book report for the month of January. They were to read an "informative" book, then do a Power Point book report and present it to the class. She found the book quite interesting, and did a fanastic job on her Power Point with absolutely no parental help. Meanwhile, a certain 5-yr-old boy who lives here became completely obsessed with the book. He would look at it over and over again. He began asking questions. Sometimes they were the same questions that we had already answered:

"Where did the iceburg hit it?"

"Why did that make it sink?"

"Why couldn't they just pull the ship back up?"

"What was the name of the ship that came to try and rescue them?"

"Why did the sea think it was tasty?" (Yeah... not sure how to answer that one!)

Pretty soon it was "Mom. Let's build the Titanic." Bryson and I helped Hayden build a lovely Titanic "replica" out of our Mega Blocks. He was so proud of it. He was kinda sad when we pulled it apart the next day, but he was ready to make a skyscraper at that point. It has been so funny. We hide the book, and the next thing we know, he is POURING over it again. Asking the same questions. Talking about the anchors, the people, and the lack of life boats. Just a little obsession! So if there is something you want to know about the Titanic, maybe you can just ask our Haydster. He may just know the answer!

The World has Lost a Great One...

They have been called "The Greatest Generation" and I have to completely agree. These wonderful people who grew up during the depression and brought our nation back through World War II are definitely my heroes. The world lost another one on January 21st. We received a phone call around 4:30 am letting us know that Jared's grandfather, Fredrick Duane Schafer, had passed away. We were able to make a really quick trip to Denver, Colorado to attend his funeral. I learned so much about this great man, who I only ever knew as a sweet grandfather. I always enjoyed his phone calls. He would talk to me for several minutes before even asking for Jared. I always loved our conversations. We were able to look through some of his old photo albums, and I loved seeing him as a child and as a young man in pictures. He joined the army as a young man, and at some point during his training, they informed him that he was much too tall, and he ended up joining an army band, playing the trombone. He was a tall guy, but I didn't think you could be too tall for combat. He did serve overseas as some point... I wish I could remember where. He met his cute wife while he was stationed in Salt Lake City at Fort Douglas. He didn't grow up a member of our church, but was converted at some point as a young man, and served in many positions very honorably... including for a time as a Temple Ordinance Worker. He was always very physically active, including teaching exercise classes up until this past summer!! He had been diagnosed with Leukemia. They did a low dose of Chemo and when we talked to him about a month ago, he was feeling great, and was hoping that Jared would come out this Spring to hang out with him. So when we got a phone call the week before he passed away, we were shocked to hear that he wasn't doing real well. We will miss him. He was always Jared's "Buddy" and is the reason behind Jared's love of Andy Griffith. They loved to talk about their favorite episodes. They were able to spend a few days together, just the two of them, on a cross country train trip to Virginia to see Jared's father right before he passed away, and I know that is a time Jared will always cherish. We got to say goodbye in a wonderful way. The services were very nice, especially the military service at the cemetary. I was so glad we were able to be there to experience it, and to capture some pictures of it.

I love seeing a casket draped in the beautiful American Flag. These amazing men who served in World War II... there will never again be anyone quite like them.

Our kids thought it was neat that Grandpa had a flag over his casket. They really enjoyed hearing about him as a young boy, and how he grew up. I wish they could have known him better.

Grandpa was buried at Fort Logan National Cemetary. It's a military cemetary, and I love the precise lines of the headstones. There is just so much order and perfection. It's beautiful.

We had to wait for a little bit when we first got to the cemetary. It had been a long drive to get there, so we let the kids get out and wander around for a few minutes. There were Canadian Geese everywhere!

Then we got back into our cars, and followed the hearse over to where the military ceremony was to be held. Pulling up and seeing these two young men was so neat. I have so much respect and love for the young men and young women who choose to defend our country by joining the military.

And off to the side a ways, was a soldier with his bugle. Of course many tears were shed when taps was played. It was beautiful.

I cried as I watched the flag being folded. I remember my own grandfather teaching me the proper way to fold a flag. It has such beautiful symbolism, and it's such a neat part of a military memorial service. And then to watch them present the flag to Grandpa's oldest son and reverently thank him and the family... it was very emotional.

They had a small vase of flowers that the kids could pick a flower from. They could either keep it, or place it onto the casket. My kids thought that was so neat to be able to do.

Then Jared's uncle gathered all of Grandpa's grandchildren to present them each with a silver doller. Grandpa always had a silver dollar, and they found a whole jar of them in his apartment. Enough for all of the cousins to have. He also gave them some advice that Grandpa would have liked them to know.  

This was such a short, fast trip, but it was so worth it. It was neat to see all of Jared's cousins that we haven't seen for a long time, and two of his brothers and his mom, and to be able to bid farewell to such a wonderful Grandfather. I am so grateful that I have a knowledge of the Lord's Plan of Salvation. I know that Grandpa has been reuinted with his sweet wife, who left him a few years ago, and also that he is with other loved ones who have gone on before. I also know that we will one day be able to see him again. We will miss you Grandpa Schafer!